The subject has no actual meaning...well, it means something, but nothing important and nothing I'd like to divulge.

Meagan came over last night-we painted our nails. I haven't done that since....well, I can't remember. It won't last, I'm sure. I'm not girlie, and that's definitely not why I did it. I used to paint my nails b/c it gave me something to do in high school when I got bored with a class. I'd just sit and pick off the polish. Then it became something I did to incorporate color into my life. Now, as I look down and see the bright pink, it makes me sick. I'm tired of the color already. I'm seeing a yellow or green in my future, just for fun. Additionally, it helps keep my hands steady, and it's always a challenge, so i feel better about possibly composing or creating afterward.

So last night, Meagan came over and we colored in our own way. And I talked....I got things out. And this morning I came into work, and I let things go. Is this the change I've been waiting for? Is it change that I've wanted? Do I want change at all? Maybe it's a change back that I'm wanting-not to everything, just certain things. I laugh, but not as much. I'm loud, but not as often, and not like I should be.

I'm going to the doctor at 230, just to see if it's broken. I don't think it is, but rather be safe than sorry I suppose. My mother broke her foot and they had to rebrake it later in life, because it was never properly set. I miss that firey red head o mine. She actually offered to go to the gym. I'm proud of her. I heart her.

Smile-I almost feel good.